Happy Birthday Chelsey!

Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time there was an idiot.  Now, to be fair, there were some who didn't think he was an idiot, but they were wrong.  And, as soon as they got to know him, they realized just how wrong they were.  The idiot in this story was the worst kind of idiot -- the kind that had no clue how big an idiot he actually was.  You might think that being unaware of his own idiocy would be a recipe for happiness for this, the "hero" of our story (blissful ignorance and whatnot), but, you'd be wrong.  You see, in addition to being slow on the uptake, ours was a very sad and lonely idiot.  Unfortunately, while he was too dumb to realize that he was, in fact, pretty dumb, he was all too aware of how sad and lonely he actually was.  I guess you could say that the idiot in this story was just smart enough to be miserable.

Then, one day, when the idiot was well past his prime -- balding, and getting tubbier by the minute -- a beautiful princess came along and rescued him.  Even though she could do a whole lot better, she took pity on our poor, lonesome idiot and married him.  It was very much a George McFly, "Enchantment Under the Sea Dance"-type situation.  And, after she married him, she shined a bright light on all of the idiot's idiocy, hopefully making it possible for him to stop being an idiot at some point in the future.  More importantly, her bright light swallowed up all of the idiot's sadness and loneliness.  So...basically...it was win-win for our idiot.

And they lived happily ever after...I even heard they're gonna have a kid real soon.

If you couldn't tell by the title of this post, today is the beautiful princess's birthday!  Happy Birthday, Chelsey!  I love you!